Thursday, October 11, 2012


Tucked into a cozy corner of the Great Smokey Mountains, Whispering Winds describes itself as “a place of escape and imagination.  There is no TV, no phones, and no Wi-Fi portals to demand your attention.  It is a grown-up version of a little girl’s playhouse, a true 3-level Victorian, with Wicker furniture on the wrap around porches and beautiful views of the Smokies. At Whispering Winds you are truly in a ‘quiet place,’ but... only minutes from Gatlinburg, Pigeon Forge, Sevierville, and the Super Scrapbook Store.  Get the girls together and spend a weekend, a couple of days, or a whole week and work on your scrapbooks, go shopping, relax on the porch, or just curl up and read a book.  It is your time! Call today to reserve your scrapbook getaway!”

They go on in their description: “Sometimes the most dedicated scrapbooker or stamper needs a break from all the creativity, so we opened up ‘The Pink Room.’ We have filled it with comfortable chairs and loveseats, soft pillows, warm throws, a TV, and a library filled with girlie things such as love stories, murder mysteries, and chick flicks. The perfect place to curl up, wind down and regroup. PJ’s and warm fuzzy socks are encouraged!

I’ve added some sugary testimonials from somewhat imagined guests:

“Three words: I Love you, Whispering Winds. What a dream weekend we had! When we weren’t scrapping, we were enjoying tea on the porch, pastry in the living room and the scent of skunk in the pines. That weekend went by so fast. I wish weekends lasted three weeks long. We left some personalized chip clips for your other guests. I also left a yellow stocking under the bed or maybe hung in the bathroom, but it really doesn’t matter, I have the matching one. Love you guys to death! Will return soon with freshly made blueberry muffins! – The Walla Walla Girlz

“It was Judy’s idea to take our scrapbooking pastime to the next level and turn it into a five-day romp. Frankly, Judy has lots of ideas and some of them are worth ignoring like that one about starting a miniature raccoon zoo where the raccoons wear different outfits like little knitted gloves and red raincoats. But Judy did hit the billy goat square in the nose when she said we all deserved a full weekend scrapbooking. Next time, Samantha and I have dibs on the Secret Garden Room. It’s not that I mind rooming with Judy, it’s just that she loudly quotes Pastor Joel Osteen in her sleep. The peanut butter cookies y’all made were delicious. I guess I just wish Judy hadn’t eaten all but one. Love you guys. Will return soon.” – Rhonda, Samantha & Judy, Belfast, Arkansas

“I spend most of my weekends shopping at Burlington. They have a wide selection. The kids always need a lot of things. I also craft my own jam and jelly. I am a crafter and scrapbooker bar none. So when Shawna, one of the sweetest ladies in the playgroup, suggested we spend a weekend at your enchanting inn, I jumped at the chance. And Carl said it was fine. He wanted to take the boys shootin’ anyways. Your place is so cute and I like that you don’t allow pets because I hate dogs. I been bit by dogs and I had them look at me all funny before and I just don’t care for ‘em at all. There were no dogs all weekend and I was able to update my patriot scrapbook and start my new apple sauce recipe scrapbook and I thank you for the calm paradise that you provided.” – Janus, Leavenworth, Kansas

“In addition to my unyielding passion for scrapbooking my life’s story, I have the deepest affection for handmade soap. To me, there is nothing in this world more comforting than a milk bath and lathering myself with whipwillow blossom, periwinkle or Genevieve handmade soap, curling up with a Nicholas Sparks tome and dreaming of romance with Garth, my beloved. It was a blissful vacation. Though, Garth is nuts about the Tennessee Woodchucks. So I guess after we get married, future holidays will be about tailgating and turkey sandwiches. But that won’t stop me from fantasizing about the heavenly time I spent scrappin’ and stampin’ in my purple pony pajamas at your glorious retreat.” – Darlene, Munfordville, Kentucky

“I was all set to spend my vacation working on my three volume scrapbook that I call ‘The Word of God.’ It contains pictures of my precious grandchildren, some of my favorite Biblical verses in elegant calligraphy, unused Macy’s coupons and a drawing of Jehovah himself from my five year old niece, Catie. But I was shocked that during the flight, something red and devilish was spilled on my scrapbook, desiccating the verses, making them appear to be the word of Beelzebub. One heading that had previously mentioned the heavenly wildebeest and the burning bush was transformed into a Satanic scrawl that clearly read, ‘Mutilate Horse Brain Burn House of Lemons Obama Putrefaction.’ I have no idea how Satan made his way into my scrapbook, but I cast him out! I purged those pages and while attending your local Apple Valley Baptist Church was able to reconsecrate my scrapbook with the ever-loving grace of our lord.” -- Connie Lumpkin, Georgia 

1 comment:

chucklesklown said...

good lord, let me plan my next getaway now!!