From Lalaland to Dixieland: SOUTHLAND JUBILEE

It was a near perfect Spring day (pre cockroach weather, post pollen season) when we happened into the nowheresville town of Greensboro, Georgia. This is a nice little junction about half way to Augusta from Atlanta, with a fair amount of historical mishmash. The Southland Jubilee was going on, which is basically a town fair that seemed better planned and more fun than the usual crafts and lemonade type town fair, though there were crafts and lemonade, along with agricultural exhibits and farm animals and state fair sort of attractions. Of course, there was funnel cake and many other fried things. The car show was unexpectedly impressive: none of the rockabilly girls with bangs and Latino slicksters one finds at an L.A. car show, these were almost exclusively old couples sitting in lawn chairs with some real nice shiny automobiles, an Edsel, a Lotus, a Pontiac GTO, some old car with a rumble seat, maybe 70 cars in all, a large car show for a small town. Greensboro's attractions were all open, the little history museum and the Old Greene County Gaol jail, where the jail cells were pretty roomy and the hangman's noose was one of the few decorations. Generally, the historical signs you find in all corners of America are written in the most perfunctory manner, but Greensboro's were entertaining, reminding you that some things had once happened in this far-flung neck of the woods. The actor John Lithgow was going to be doing some theater in town and how that came about I have no idea. We had fried green tomato sandwiches and fried pickles at the Yesterday Cafe, a very nice historical restaurant and one of the few places to eat in Greensboro.

"I hate you all!"

This happens to be the weekend of two of Atlanta's major street festivals, the Atlanta Dogwood Festival and the Sweetwater 420 Festival. While enjoying myself in Greensboro, I began reflecting on all the awful street festivals I've been to in Atlanta in the few short years I've been here. Were they all awful, you might inquire? Yes. They all were various shades of lame. One of the weeklies, the Sunday Paper, recently printed a best local festival list. Here are the worst local street festivals that I have been to.

1. The Grant Park Summer Shade Festival
I went to this two years ago on a ridiculously hot summer day. It was basically beer, crafts, crummy local bands and overpriced falafels. I think Magnapop plays this every year and I've driven by twice while they were playing and noticed they attracted 50 or more spectators. Not bad. Though, I didn't stop.

2. Sweetwater 420 Festival
Really thought this was awful. Crummy local bands and beer, a lot of beer. I guess maybe if I knew somebody in Atlanta, it seemed very social in a beer sort of way.

3. Inman Park Festival
This one gets crowded. A lot of crafts. I remember catching the most godawful elderly rock band there. Perhaps the home tour is interesting.

4.The Atlanta Arts Festival
This was just crafts up the ass. Is that art?

5. Decatur Book Festival
I guess most book festivals are catered to little old ladies and their mystery books and little romantic novels. Yawn.