I am a Jew from the Westside of Los Angeles, where there are many such Jews. About nine or so years ago, my wife and I moved to Atlanta, Georgia. They call Atlanta "The North of the South." You can find tapas, good rye bread, art house films and forlorn antiwar protests in Atlanta like you can in any sprawling metropolitan American city. But thirty minutes or so outside of Atlanta, you enter the real South. Confederate flags start popping up every-which-where. People transform from being a little bit chubby into massive, undulating blobs. Crumbling, one-block-long towns beckon you to stop at the Supreme Fish Delight or the abandoned house with trees growing out of its windows. One thing that has really surprised me about the South is that it is really more Southern than I ever could have imagined. In these pages, I shall attempt to explore and understand these exotic, foreign lands, but I will do it from the perspective of a latte-sipping, conscientiously-recycling, NPR-listening, Whole-Foods-shopping, vegetarian Jew-Ass-Jew from the Westside.